So it’s well established that I can’t cook well. Sure, I can make a mean protein pancake and I can certainly grill a steak, but an actual, full-on Food Network type culinary throwdown? I’d fail.


The good news is that I live in New York City. I can’t go five feet from my apartment without stumbling onto something tasty, convenient, and even healthy.

Granted, the ratio of bagel and pizza joints to organic delis is still about ten to one, but to quote Rust Cohle in True Detective, the light’s winning.


In other words, you can be a certified hard nosed New Yorker and yet eat organic and farm to table. How about that.

Still, I’m dieting. And when I diet, I prefer to eat most of my meals at home as it’s a) easier to control macros; b) easier to control portion sizes; (New York portions are huge!), and c) easier on my wallet. If I’m going to spend $20 on lunch I want something better than a tired chicken breast on a bed of Romaine. Actually, if I’m going to eat period I want something better than that.

So I eat a lot at home, and I eat a lot of protein and vegetables. The problem is, for me and many others, high protein meals invariably lead to sweet cravings. Some say this due to a lack of salt in the diet or a lack of fat in the meal. In my case, that ain’t it. I say it’s because I’m just an overgrown kid and aren’t happy unless every feeding is punctuated by something sweet and yummy, like chocolate and peanut butter. Hardcore, ain’t I?

Unfortunately, vegetables, as awesome as they may be, do sweet dick-all to satisfy said sweet tooth. Trust me, I’ve tried. I thought I was just doomed to suffer in silence, imagining my side of asparagus was a fresh baked brownie — until I discovered something that fits the bill.

Enter Cinnamon Carrot Chips

I count these as a daily veggie serving but often save them for dessert cause I like them so damn much. Let’s be honest, butter, sugar, and cinnamon on anything is tasty. Carrots are just a handy delivery system that actually offers a nutrient or two without being too high in calories.

You will need:

Carrot Chips






Splenda or Stevia


Sea Salt


How To Do It

• Place a healthy dab or dollop of butter into a non-stick pan set to medium heat.


• Toss in a couple handfuls (classy aren’t I?) of carrot chips.

• Mix it up so the chips are all coated.

• Cook baby book! Stir frequently. You want most of the chips to get “burn marks.” This means they’re tender and yummy.


• Dump in a healthy portion of cinnamon and a couple pinches of sea salt.


• Add a packet or two of Splenda or Stevia or whatever other natural sweetener satisfies your inner Dr. Mercola.

• Mix it all up.

• Serve to your hungry missus.



You’ll notice I use a lot of organic ingredients. Some of that is deliberate — I always source organic dairy and coffee, and most red meat and fresh veggies — but I certainly don’t get all bent out of shape if my cinnamon isn’t organic.

One of my favorite things is to cruise around the Whole Foods store in Union Square and check out what the yuppies put in their carts. Organic brownies? Organic pizza pockets? Puh-leeze.

I eat this stupid dish at least three times a week. I’m almost embarrassed that I like it as much as I do. But hey, it satisfies my sweet tooth and it’s ridiculously easy to make. So laugh all you want!

Thanks for reading.