I may work online but I work WITH real-life people with real-world problems.
Now I’m just a sets & reps, protein & calories coach. I do not fancy myself as some lame life-coach and I sure as hell do not have all the answers, especially to the important questions.
However, I DO understand the effect real-life stressors have on the training process, especially fat loss.
And while you can’t just flip a stress and “reduce stress,” you can learn to manage it. Or at least understand it.
Which is what this email I wrote for a client is all about….
Stress is a HUGE factor in how well we respond to diet & exercises, as well as health & overall happiness.
But you can’t just “eliminate stress.”
Especially if the stressor is something like a dying family member or even a job you can’t realistically just quit.
But you can MANAGE how you respond to it. And you do that by having:
1. Managing what & who no longer serve you.
2. Reduce overall stress load as best you can.
3. Structure & support systems.
Manage what & who no longer serves you.
Sometimes beloved hobbies, vices, and even people simply stop serving you.
If you’ve ever outgrown a hobby then you’ve experienced this. Feeling stressed doing something that once brought you joy may be a sign of growth but it’s still unpleasant.
It can also be (and often is) a family member, which gets complicated.
However, this is the type of stress you SHOULD manage first as it very impactful and well-within your control.
But it doesn’t (necessarily) mean cutting someone once dear out of your life. It can be simply limiting involvement or how you engage with them, even if it’s just what you talk about.
Keep in mind that family will often treat you like the person you once were rather than the person you are today as the “old you” was someone they could control.
Reduce overall stress load, especially unnecessary stress.
Some people THRIVE in a high stress, high pressure environment for extended periods.
Others may do okay for a while but eventually need a break or at least good support systems.
Others do okay until its multiple stressors to keep track of all at once. Then overwhelm takes them down.
Others just fall apart, period, unless they have great support systems, leading to the next point.
Structure & support systems are where you can do the most meaningful work to improve.
If someone is consumed by stress they need STRUCTURE. The more structure you can put into your day, the more resilient you will be, not to mention productive.
Some people have rigid work or childcare schedules that create structure for them.
For those who don’t, I recommend doing some type of training first thing in the morning.
- It lets you start your day with a win, and feeling in control
- It forces you to get up and start moving & producing rather than contemplating (or worse, scrolling)
- It (should) force you to go to bed early, thereby eliminating some BIG things that contribute to stress, like scrolling on social media, cable news, and bad food & alcohol.
I’d be remiss to not mention WALKING. It is so much more than just a means to get around or “get your daily steps in.”
Walking is really a form of active meditation.
As for support systems, people mistakenly focus on creating NEW support systems when they just need to cultivate & appreciate what they have, whether it’s:
– good friends
– fun hobbies
– faith and being a part of something bigger than yourself.
– Volunteering
The key is the relationship or the activity can’t feel TRANSACTIONAL.
Transactional “what’s in for me?” type-relationships are in fact STRESSORS.
They may be useful and “productive” but they won’t fill your cup.
I believe the stress people feel from social media is in part from trying to fill a need they have as human beings with superficial, untested, or just plain wrong relationships.
You can trick your ego but you can’t fool your soul.
– Coach Bryan