I learned a long time ago that adding a healthy, positive habit works way better when it replaces an unhealthy, negative habit.
I thought this was because it managed overwhelm. You can’t just keep adding to your life, even good things. You eventually become sandbagged, so you also have to take something away.
But then the truth finally sunk in: the power of removing bad habits wasn’t about having too many “to-dos.”
It was that negative bad habits are so much more impactful then even the best good habits.
Exercising every day, eating a healthy diet, and sleeping 8 hours a night are gold star good habits.
But they are NOTHING compared to finally kicking a bad (not moderate) drinking habit, and the repercussions that has on health, family and career.
Or getting treatment for a “recreational” drug habit that’s gone way beyond recreational.
Or finally getting help for toxic, negative thought patterns that poison you into seeing every opportunity as a problem, every discussion as a disagreement, every offer to help as an act of aggression.
The best good habits can change your life.
Dumping the worst bad habits can SAVE your life.
– – –
Reading everyone’s goals for 2021 has been really cool just for the positivity alone.
But if I could get you to do one thing it would be to spend time figuring out what’s REALLY holding you back from being happier, more positive, and more productive — whether it’s habits, addictions, learned behaviours, or toxic thinking — and free yourself from them forever.
Now, true introspection is almost never “fun,” and it rarely comes easy.
You might need an intense personal discussion with a good friend. If they’re not into it or won’t help then they’re not a good friend (or they need to do this leg work more than anyone).
There are also professional therapists who can help you. The really good ones will spot your bullshit in about five minutes — and then they’ll help you deconstruct all the nonsensical ego defence mechanisms you’ve created to protect yourself and show that you’re really a hard ass.
If your goals or plans are fitness-related, you can also hire a coach. (Hint, hint.)
My own list of “not”-do’s for 2021 is nothing special:
- Less doomscrolling.
- Far less national news and far more local news. Yesterday, the top story was someone stole a 3,000-lb glacial rock from a storefront. They found it the next day in a nearby field. Close the book on that one.
- Zero attention to truly shitty people, or to anyone in fitness still wearing the “Gorilla Suit” past age 30. The angry meathead thing is clearly an ego defence mechanism for growing insecurity. It’s a bodybuilding punchline. Arnold and Dorian rid themselves of it and became better people. Ronnie and Lee Haney never even bothered with it at all. I wanna be like them, and I wanna give more of my attention to those kinds of people.
I have strictly “positives” I’m thinking about, but that’s probably enough for now.
Best in life in 2021,
Bryan