You’re not that busy. It's not a lack of focus or willpower. And it’s definitely not due to some nefarious medical condition. No, the reason you’re fat is because you’re stupid. Yes, stupid. A moron, a fool, a slack-jawed mouth-breather. Or dumb as a post, if you prefer insults be analogies. Harsh? Hey, I was on your side. I had your back, love handles and all. I defended you on social media. I...

I guess I’m weird. I love the New Years resolution thing. It takes courage to say, even privately, “I’m not happy with myself. I need to do better.”  It shows humility and self-awareness. Qualities I respect and admire, especially when much of the world measures worth in followers and Facebook likes. For that reason, I get a kick out of the newbies getting after it in the gym every January. They...

I'll never be rich. I’m not proud of that statement. It’s certainly not part of some happy-smiley affirmation that I recite every morning while waiting for my Eggos to toast. But it’s a fact: the Buffets, Zuckerbergs, and Gates of the world needn’t worry. I won’t be running them out of the pages of Forbes anytime soon. And I really don’t care. I’m thinking of this today, in the midst of a sunny...

I’m a thief. Cause I’ve stolen everything I know about building a muscular body. I haven’t invented or discovered a damn thing. Zilch. Nor have I conducted any experiments, published any papers, and certainly haven’t been subject to peer review, unless you count the post workout posedowns I “used” to have with my bros in the locker room. But what I have been is exceptionally observant and...

A friend hates my blog. “It’s boring,” he says. “I’ve read enough about training and building a bigger ass. Write something different. “Write about manhood.” What the hell do I know about manhood? Apart from being married and sitting on the wrong side of 40, I’m pretty much clueless on the subject. Tell you what, ask me in 40 years. Maybe by then I’ll have something meaningful to contribute. Yet...

You’re a bodybuilder. Yeah, I get it. You don’t compete in bodybuilding competitions or a have a drawer full of posing trunks and 16th place ribbons. But you exercise primarily to look better. So you, my friend, are a bodybuilder. And the sooner you get your head out of your ass and embrace it, the better your physique will be. Bodybuilder. Although it has four syllables, you’d think it was a...

I want to look like that guy. No real man would ever say that. It’s superficial. What mature male builds their body just to look pretty? It’s weak. Girly. Non-functional. You should workout to be strong enough to deadlift a car. Or snatch double your bodyweight. Or throw a football across two time zones. Lifting weights to look good naked? What a waste of time. I read crap like that all the...